A FLY ON THE WALL: What Men Really Say About Women

Episode 007 - Transcript
Copyright TAHC, LLC - All Rights Reserved.
Thanks to Kelly G. for this transcript!
This episode was mixed by Greg from Lucid Drive Studios.
Technical services provided by www.betasptodvd.com

EPISODE SEVEN

July 25, 2007

–INTRO TO SHOW–

Welcome to another episode of A FLY ON THE WALL…
Guy #1: I love girls who are just like, you know, strong and take charge kinda ladies.
Guy #2: You know, somebody who’s uh, you know, loves you, cares about you, wants you, but doesn’t need you to, uh you know, make her feel okay about herself.
Guy #3: No drama, I don’t do drama.
Guy #4: You know, what fascinates me is Goth girls. They’re so devoted.
Guy #5: All day woman. Smart, good looking, nice body. Good cook. Good hair. Great mom, good fun to be with.
Guy #6: Definitely someone who can put up with my bullshit.
Guy #7: You know, I need a really sweet girl, but she’s got, her body’s gotta rock.
Guy #8: A very exotic look. Part Italian, a little Armenian, a little bit of French, and a little bit of that, a little bit of everything, So kinda that olive skin, beautiful eyes.
Guy #9: I like sweatpants, and uh t-shirts, and uh clogs.
Guy #10: Yeah, I’m an ass man, all day long, all day long. Hahahahaha. Ha.

–SEGMENT 1–

KIRK: Hi, welcome to A Fly in the Wall. We’re really glad you guys are here, and it’s fun to see you, Mike. I just love seeing you. Does that sound gay when I…?
MIKE: It sounds so gay.
KIRK: Sorry.
MIKE: But that’s okay because you’re married with a kid or two.
KIRK: Yeah, I get hit on by guys a lot though.
MIKE: Is that true?
KIRK: Yeah, I guess they think I’m friendly or whatever, but I get hit on all the time by guys.
MIKE: When guys hit on you, what do they do?
KIRK: Um, first they start making eyes. And then I just turn the other way or whatever.
MIKE: Wait, what do you mean turn the other way?
KIRK: You know, just like ignore them or blow them off with my eyes, whatever.
MIKE: You blow them off with your eyes?
KIRK: Yeah.
MIKE: Nice, I like that. I’m going to use that. I just blew her off with my eyes.
KIRK: Yeah, I think they get the hint pretty quick, but earlier, you know, a long time ago, they wouldn’t get the hint really quick. And now I’m a lot harder. Like, I’m just like, “Don’t mess with me.” And they just go away.
MIKE: Now, have guys ever come up and like touched you or anything?
KIRK: We weren’t going to talk about this just yet, but I’ll tell you this funny story. I was in college, and my roommate was gay. And he always thought that I was gay too. And I said, “I’m not gay. I promise. I’m not gay.”
MIKE: This is what this guy was saying to you, “I promise I’m not gay?”
KIRK: No, I said I’m not gay.
MIKE: Oh, did you guys like…was he out of the closet?
KIRK: Just, you know, you could just tell. He was leaving clues out for me and stuff.
MIKE: Like, a dildo on your bed?
KIRK: No, just stupid stuff. Like did you just see that new Barbara Streisand stage show or whatever? I don’t know. Anyway…
MIKE: Who wants to watch the Wizard of Oz tonight?
KIRK: Yeah, but no, the guy was like the macho. He was like the tough guy, you know. Like, he was strong, and he was kind of like a tough guy.
MIKE: Was he hot?
KIRK: Well, he would be hot if you were into guys. He’d be extremely hot. I think he looked like Matt Damon but with a better face.
MIKE: Okay.
KIRK: So, um, but really toned and everything, right? Listen to me, I’m remembering all this. Anyway, it was traumatic to me. So we were sitting in my place there, and we were talking about just whatever. Philosophy or who knows what. And sure enough, the sun goes down, right? So now it’s dark in there. And we were just so engaged in the conversation that…
MIKE: I’m sorry. This is a dorm room or what?
KIRK: Well. Actually, I lived in a converted garage.
MIKE: And you guys both lived there?
KIRK: Well, he lived in another part of the house. I lived in the garage.
MIKE: Oh okay. So it was like a studio?
KIRK: Yeah.
MIKE: And he’s just hanging out…you guys were just hanging out talking?
KIRK: I think we were drinking a little beer or two. And so then somehow it came up that he wanted to, you know, do something. And I said, “Hey, yo, I’m not gay, man. So, sorry.” So he starts fucking feeling me up, man. Like sliding his hand up. I go, “Dude, I’m not gay, man. I’m telling you. I’m not gay.”
MIKE: Wait a minute, so wait, what? Was he sitting next to you?
KIRK: He was sitting next to me cuz we were just there talking about whatever.
MIKE: And he puts his hand on your thigh?
KIRK: Yeah, and he was a friend of mine, so I didn’t want to offend him or anything. So he puts his hand on my thigh, and so then, just to mess with him. I go, “I’m not gay, man. I’m really not.” And he keeps going. He puts his hand like in my crotch. His hand in my crotch. And I was like as small and limp as you could ever be. It was kind of like this huge insult to the guy. I’m like, “Dude, can’t you see? Nothing’s happening, okay? So there you go.” And he went away with his tale between his legs so fast.
MIKE: So to speak.
KIRK: It was like, I mean, you know what? I’m comfortable enough with my sexuality. I can handle it. And he was, he felt like a fool, like the biggest fool. You know, that was pretty damn presumptuous, because I said, “No, I’m not freaking gay, alright?”
MIKE: Right.
KIRK: And I’m the farthest thing from gay. Anyone that knows me that’s dated me will attest to that.
MIKE: Right, right. I definitely know you’re not gay.
KIRK: I’m so far from gay, it’s not even funny.
MIKE: That’s pretty gay though, that he had his hand on your cock.
KIRK: And that I let him do it? You think?
MIKE: Yeah, I think that’s gay.
KIRK: You do?
MIKE: I do. I do think that’s gay.
KIRK: You think I’m gay for doing it?
MIKE: I don’t think you’re gay. I’m surprised that you let him do that.
KIRK: Really? I was just so…I didn’t know how else to like prove it to him. So at that point, I was just…
MIKE: Here’s how I’d prove it to him. “Dude, what the fuck are you doing? Get your fucking hand off of me.”
KIRK: But at that point, like, I really wanted to kind of like burn him, you know? So I just checked out. It was like…
MIKE: So you burned him by not being hard?:
KIRK: Yeah. Pretend like you just, pretend like you’re just at the doctor’s office or whatever, you know what I mean? I was just like, okay, whatever. It’s just a physical body part, who cares? And it made a really big impact on him. Or a little impact. What’s the difference between that and like when people play in the locker room and they hit each others’ asses in football and all that? What the hell? It’s just a body part, and you’re just screwing around.
MIKE: First of all, I don’t know any guys that are running around in the locker room smacking each others’ asses, but I do know that they do it out on the football field.
KIRK: Right, okay.
MIKE: And to me, I see where you’re going with this. But I guess knowing that a gay guy is putting his hand on your thigh and working his way up to your cock, and you’re not doing anything.
KIRK: Well no, I’m saying, I’m going “Dude, I’m not gay. You should just stop this right now.” And he’s like, “No, no, you really want it.” Cuz he was just so convinced. He lived there. He had been my roommate in this house for a long time, like over a year. And he just kept thinking I was gay, building. So this was like the climactic moment so to speak.
MIKE: Anticlimactic moment.
KIRK: And right after that, he moved out. Like right after that, within about a month, he moved out of there.
MIKE: Cuz of that?
KIRK: I think he was really ashamed. I mean, I think he was really ashamed, and he wasn’t fully out of the closet. And maybe he felt like I would tell the other people in the house. There were like four other guys that were living in the house.
MIKE: Wow.
KIRK: Yeah. But trust me, that was the gayest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I mean.
MIKE: That’s pretty gay.
KIRK: But that’s the pinnacle.
MIKE: Right, right, right.
KIRK: I’ve never done anything worse than that.
MIKE: Right. No, I mean, that’s a hell of a story.
KIRK: Oh you’re not going to be coming over here anymore.
MIKE: No, I wish somebody else…I wish there was a woman in here with us.
KIRK: It’s a good thing the lights are on, man.
MIKE: Yeah, thank God.
KIRK: Should we go get Pamela?
MIKE: No, no, here. Why don’t you just put your hand on my lap?
KIRK: You know what? We better just take a break. Let’s take a break, and we’ll be back.
MIKE: Can we get back to talking about women. God, I miss talking about women.
KIRK: Anyway, we’ll take a break. We’ll be right back.

–COMMERCIAL—
Woman: Hi, I’m Cathy Malkasian, I’m the author of Percy Gloom, which is a graphic novel. And a graphic novel is by definition, I think, a comic that’s over a hundred pages. It’s really a neat medium. The great part about doing comics is that when words fail you, you got pictures, and vice versa. They really complement each other. It’s very free. It’s been really surprising. Pretty good feedback overall. Most of it has been from really respectable sources. This is going to sound really, really presumptuous but I got so disgusted with world affairs. Because, you know, what’s going on in the world right now is so ridiculous. People are just wiggin’ out. So I had to sort of make a satire of human folly, and humor is definitely subjective. But let’s just say, it’s an adult book, but if you left it on the coffee table and your 4-year-old picked it up, there isn’t anything in there that you’d have to, you know, worry about. My website is www.percygloom.com.
–INTERLUDE–

Guy #1: I mean, I like boobs. But it’s like a bonus, you know what I mean? Yeah, it’s a bonus.
Guy #2: First of all, let’s check the face. And then I’m going to check the back.
Guy #3: I guess I’m a breast man.
Guy #4: Um, intelligence, definitely. I find that the sex is much more interesting if the person’s intelligent.
Guy #5: Not preppy girls, I don’t like girls that are stuck up.
Guy #6: Diamonds, like, you know, fancy cars, peoples that like to show peoples that they’ve got money. I’m against this stuff.
Guy #7: I don’t want to get, you know, I don’t want someone who’s gonna bust my chops everyday, and I hope, I hope, I don’t have the desire to do that to her either.
Guy #8: If she’s too stupid, I can’t handle her. I just cut it right away.
Guy #9: It’s nice to have somebody who’s watching your back and making sure you’re not making an ass out of yourself.
Guy #10: You know, definitely women from other countries, other cultures, coming from some sort of heritage besides, uh, Wal-Mart.
Guy #11: Somebody funny.
Guy #12: I love it when they’re weird. That’s hot!

–SEGMENT 2-

MIKE: Welcome back to A FLY IN THE WALL.
KIRK: Here we are, we’re going to talk about women this time. Sorry about that. Mike still has the heebie-jeebies.
MIKE: I don’t. I just…I don’t at all. I think that, I think we should just talk about women. Speaking about women, you forwarded me an email from a female blogger that’s very exciting. We’re starting to get blogs, we’re getting emails.
KIRK: Yeah, well I got to give a shout out here to Chantel Williams. She’s a really huge, popular female blogger, and she put us on her blog roll. So that was super nice.
MIKE: Really great.
KIRK: So thank you. She had a lot of nice things to say about her show, which is great. She’s in Portland, Oregon. So in fact, she had a couple questions in her email too, so I thought this could be the Chantel Show, I guess you could say.
MIKE: Look at that, you blog about us and suddenly get your own episode all about you. Course it’s tied into a gay segment but…
KIRK: Yeah, no, but she had some really great questions, and I thought we could maybe answer them here and see what we think.
MIKE: Yeah, let’s do it.
KIRK: And by the way, Chantel, if you want to read her blog. It’s pretty interesting. She’s blogging at www.lifeandtimesofchantel.com. And you have to do the www or it doesn’t work. But we’ll put the link on our website.
MIKE: Yeah, let’s put the link on our website. And also, Kirk, I was going to ask you. How do you spell Chantel?
KIRK: It’s C-H-A-N-T-E-L, Chantel. And I’ll tell you something. If you read her blog, dude, it is like so honest. It’s basically like a diary. How could they be so honest and put all that stuff about themselves out there? And I got to hand it to her, man, that’s really good. Like my wife always says, if the writer or the entertainer isn’t willing to take the trip, then why should the audience, you know? That’s why her blog is so compelling because it’s just really rich with personal stuff.
MIKE: I’m going to check it out, I can’t wait.
KIRK: Yeah, check it out. Hey, you guys should date! That’s what I’m talking about. You should go out with her.
MIKE: She’s in Portland, Oregon.
KIRK: Oh okay, well try it long distance. See how it works.
MIKE: We’ll see how it goes. We’ll see how it goes. Chantel, here’s Mike giving you a shout-out.
KIRK: Alright, here we go with some of the questions from Chantel. She says, “What makes you say no to a woman or not call back?”
MIKE: I think it depends on what stage you’re at. I mean, if I go out and I just meet somebody, say, in a bar or, cuz that’s where I meet a lot of woman. What would make me tear up their number is if I got the number early on in the evening which I sometimes do. I know a lot of people wait ‘til the end of the night and go, “Hey, you know what? Why don’t I get your number and we’ll hang out?” If I get it early on, and suddenly they turn out to be a bitch before I’m done talking to them.
KIRK: What’s the thing that makes them the bitch though?
MIKE: From a conversation standpoint, if they talk too much about themselves. I mean, if they’re way into themselves and can’t stop talking about it, that’s one thing. If they constantly cut you off when you’re trying to get in a word, that’s another thing.
KIRK: Yeah, I mean, it should be a conversation, not a monologue. It should just be like, share and…
MIKE: Right, right. Right, right, right, right.
KIRK: And it should be interesting, you know?
MIKE: Right, right, right, right. Right, that’s how it should be. Right, yeah.
KIRK: Dude, you’re scaring me.
MIKE: No, but that’s what I’m saying. Kirk, I’m trying to give the audience an example.
KIRK: Right, right, right. Yeah, I wouldn’t want to date you either.
MIKE: You see, you know what I’m saying though? It’s just, you’re sitting there talking about something and they’re going “Right, right.”
KIRK: They finish your sentence.
MIKE: “Oh yeah, mhm.” You know, it’s one of those. And you know, sometimes you’re just bored. I mean, you can go out with somebody, and if you feel like you’re sitting there having to pull conversation out of them, you know.
KIRK: It just has to be compatible. It has to be easy and a fit, don’t you think?
MIKE: Absolutely.
KIRK: Yeah.
MIKE: I mean, I’ve been out with girls, you know. And I’m not, you know and this is just one guy’s opinion, but I’ve been out with girls that have been hot, like real hot, not that it matters but it absolutely does. And they are just boring as shit, and I got to pull the conversation, and I’m sitting there looking at them struggling between “I’m physically attracted to them” and “Holy shit, they suck to talk to.”
KIRK: Right. It just has to be easy. It has to be a fit. And you know you’re not a fit with everybody. It’s just not…
MIKE: No, but it’s fun trying on different shoes.
KIRK: Yeah, yeah.
MIKE: Alright Kirk. Let me go ahead and read one of these out to you.
KIRK: Okay.
MIKE: From Chantel. Describe a time that you feel like you were a jerk, and what was your reasoning behind it?
KIRK: Okay. Do you want to go first?
MIKE: Cuz you can’t think of one?
KIRK: No, I can, believe me. I’ve definitely…
MIKE: No, why don’t you…I feel like I’ve talked too much tonight.
KIRK: Alright, alright. Well I got to tell you that I did a threesome once. And it was with my buddy. And it was in college days, you know.
MIKE: The gay guy?
KIRK: No, not the gay guy. Totally different house. No, but what happened was, this girl would come over, and she was the neediest girl I’ve ever seen in my life. Like even to this day, she was the neediest girl I’ve ever seen in my life. She would come over. My friend was like this kind of, he saw her as needy, and he’s like “I’m going to exploit this.” She would come over at like 8 in the morning, and he’d go, “Hey, can you wash those dishes for us?” And she’d be like, “Okay.” And she would run in there and start washing the dishes from like these college pigs, man. And he would just say all this stuff to her. And I was kind of getting into the act too. You know, it was me and my buddy, and I would say ‘Hey, do you think you could do our laundry?” What a jerk. I’d be…I swear to God. I don’t know why she was so needy. It was just weird. She was a cute girl, kind of big-boned but kind of cute, you know? Blonde girl. So sure enough, the next thing is of course, you know, “Hey, you know, you wanna do us both? You wanna do us both?” I mean, that’s the next thing, right?
MIKE: Yeah, imagine the progression of doing dishes and laundry.
KIRK: Yeah. But this was like over the course of maybe six weeks, you know? It just got more and more. We were kind of like pushing it. We were honestly pushing it. How much she would take, and she was like, “Sure, I’ll do you guys.” And so next thing you know, you know, my buddy, he was screwing her, and I was doing the oral part with her. And geez man, she was just into it, and everything was great. And after we’re done, my buddy’s like, “Alright, that’s cool. Now, head out.”
MIKE: Ugh.
KIRK: It was awful. I got some really bad karma from it, you know? It was bad karma.
MIKE: Was that the only time you guys double-teamed her?
KIRK: That was the only time, yeah.
MIKE: Did she keep coming around after that?
KIRK: She did, you know. She came around, and she just took it until finally my friend, cuz he just wasn’t into her. She was kind of boring and kind of needy, and he I guess told her not to come around anymore even though it would mean he wouldn’t get his dishes done. You know? He just said, “That’s enough.” And so, honest to God, about three weeks later after he stopped seeing her, she married some sailor and like hooked up and started having kids, like immediately. Yeah it was, I’d never seen anybody so needy. But even though she was so needy and everything and nothing really bad happened, it just felt really, really disgusting to do that to her, someone, you know.
MIKE: I bet that sailor that she hooked up with is one of those guys that’s out at bachelor parties in one of the bars hooking up.
KIRK: Probably. Yeah, she was just so needy, and we were so awful to exploit that. And it was kind of like mob mentality, you know what I mean? Like, hey, well, it’s funny because everyone’s doing it. Even though like someone’s getting hurt. It was just disgusting you know.
MIKE: Was she getting hurt though?
KIRK: Well, she wasn’t.
MIKE: It seems like she was kind of into it.
KIRK: Yeah, I mean, she was a participant, you know?
MIKE: Right.
KIRK: So it was just bad. Bad karma. And I paid for that karma a lot. I’m just coming out from under that one. So, please forgive me, girl. I forgot your name. God, I wish I could remember her name. Anyway, that was my…that was the time I was really a jerk. What about you, Mike?
MIKE: I’m trying to think of times when I wasn’t a jerk. Um, well going onto your two-on-one story. I actually have a double team story myself with a big-boned girl from the Midwest that was blond-haired with a buddy of mine named Two-On-One Chuck. And it’s funny that you brought that up because it was the girl that he was dating, and well, him and her wanted to have a threesome. And him and I were buddies. And same situation. He was screwing her, and she was blowing me. And I kind of just stopped midway cuz I felt like such an asshole.
KIRK: Really, you actually stopped?
MIKE: I actually stopped.
KIRK: Right in the middle. Wow.
MIKE: You want to know what’s so funny is, it’s one of those things I think that sound kind of cool to me. Chuck was a real good…Two-On-One Chuck was a good-looking dude.
KIRK: Two-On-One Chuck.
MIKE: That’s what his name became. Real charismatic. Fun guy. And so, next thing you know, clothes are off. We’re all going at it. And I have one of those just moments where I feel like just a douchebag.
KIRK: Wow.
MIKE: Yeah, it was just kind of… I got wrapped up in the moment of it. And then like, I look over, and there’s Chuck at the other end just banging her, and he’s got no shirt on. And I’m like, “What the fuck am I doing here?”
KIRK: Yeah, I know. It’s weird when you see your buddy doing that? Isn’t that like the weirdest fucking visual?
MIKE: It was horrible.
KIRK: It’s like the weirdest visual. My buddy, when were doing that, my buddy was like doing all these weird gestures, making fun of the girl and stuff.
MIKE: Aw shit. You know what? So was he. He was making, you know what, he was making faces and smirking and shit.
KIRK: Oh man. We’re going to burn in hell.
MIKE: We are. And I was too drunk to like ride my bike home, so I walked in the other room, and all I remember was. Aladdin…was that the movies that was out in the early 90s?
KIRK: I don’t know. Maybe.
MIKE: One of these Disney movies was on, and I’m just sitting there staring at it cuz I’m like too freaked out about what I had done and I’m drunk. And to this day, I can’t watch that flick.
KIRK: Oh my God.
MIKE: But I was just like, “Ecchh.”
KIRK: Oh my God.
MIKE: It was horrible. Two-On-One Chuck and me.
KIRK: Oh my God.
MIKE: I went to his wedding though. He’s a good guy.
KIRK: Yeah?
MIKE: To a different girl.
KIRK: People go through their periods, man. And guys together, they get that sort of mob mentality. It’s kind of yucky.
MIKE: Totally.
KIRK: What else we got from Chantel?
MIKE: Let’s see what else is on there. It’s funny how you and I both did a big-boned woman on a double team.
KIRK: That is funny. Oh my God.
MIKE: See, we got more in common than you think, Kirk.
KIRK: Yeah, so here’s the other Chantel question. Here it says, “So what is it about guys who date women who are hot, fun, and outgoing, and then break up with them and settle with a Plain Jane who’s dull?” What’s up with that, Mike?
MIKE: I don’t know what’s up with that because…
KIRK: Well before, I mean in episode 1, you were talking about how people give up, and they cut their hair and turn into the soccer mom. I mean, that might be what it is. Maybe the girl still is hot, and she just changed.
MIKE: I don’t know. That’s not kind of what I’m getting from that question. It sounds like…
KIRK: I think guys are just visual. When you’re single for a long time, and you just start dating someone, you’re still like visual and physical and everything. And I think that you’re not really into that emotional connection, you’re just so anxious to like finally be with someone physically. And I think that’s why they want to be with a hot girl. And I think, really, what they really want, once that settles down is, they want a girl who’s everything. They want a girl who’s sweet and fun. Just like the intro to the show, you know? I think guys want to have a girl who’s everything. They want to have someone who’s funny, who’s sweet, who’s sexy. The reason why they end up with a Plain Jane is because they have something in common and it’s easy to talk to them. Like what you said earlier, when does a date end? It’s because you don’t find them easy to talk to. And maybe people just gravitate towards the kind that they can talk to, regardless of how physically attractive they are.
MIKE: That I would actually agree with. And I think now that I’m thinking about it, I do know somebody who could be dating hotter women, and I don’t think it’s settling so much that the person he’s dating kind of worships him. That’s kind of the vibe I’ve gotten, and he likes that quality of being…his personal value kind of going up in his mind.
KIRK: Well I just had a dinner with a friend of mine I haven’t seen in a really long time. And he’s recently remarried, meaning in the last couple of years. And you would think that his wife is like a Plain Jane. I wouldn’t necessarily call her hot, right? So, we go out to dinner with them. And the first thing that happens is they start talking about all this sexual stuff about how they’re so into each other, and they do all this nasty stuff in the bedroom. And me and Pamela, we’re just like “Oh, that’s hot.” And you can tell she’s not just Plain Jane. I mean, she just does that for her job or her outside façade, but like I’m telling you, these people.
MIKE: Did it turn you on?
KIRK: It was kind of hot. Yeah.
MIKE: Of course it did.
KIRK: No, I like sex talk.
MIKE: Yeah, so do I.
KIRK: And speaking of that, that’s another question. Chantel wrote this, but we also had it from another email person too.
MIKE: I love how these emails are coming in.
KIRK: I know, it feels good.
MIKE: Keep ‘em coming, please.
KIRK: So Chantel says, “Is it bad if we don’t like to talk dirty? If it is, how dirty do we need to get? Some women just can’t talk dirty.” What do you think about that whole dirty thing?
MIKE: Personally, I can take it or leave it. It depends on the person, it depends on the mood.
KIRK: Well, let’s break this down one at a time. So is it bad if they don’t like to talk dirty?
MIKE: No, I do not think it’s bad if they don’t like to talk dirty.
KIRK: I don’t either. I think, as long as it’s natural. Like, I mean, for both parties. I think it has to be really natural. If it’s not, if it doesn’t come out naturally, like if that’s something that you don’t normally do, then I don’t think it would be a turn on.
MIKE: Absolutely.
KIRK: And then she says, “How dirty do we need to get? Some women just can’t talk dirty.” Well, my feeling on that is, you know, if it’s not in your character, it’s not in your character. But I think it can come up in the situation, and my problem with talking dirty is, it always leads me to wanting to spank them.
MIKE: So don’t force it, Chantel, bad little girl, you. Alright, Kirk, so I’m sitting here looking at something else that Chantel wrote here. That’s great. “My hair is so long and so curly, but I can’t cut it because I’d look stupid. I used to straighten it, but it’s so much work. However, I’ve gotten better dates from better men when my hair was straight. Does curly hair turn men off or am I doomed to attract hair band wannabes who still drive Camaros when their licenses aren’t suspended and worship Ted Nugent?” Chantel, where…?
KIRK: You can tell she’s a blogger, man.
MIKE: She’s a blogger. Where are you living, in the land of Bon Jovi? I love this.
KIRK: She’s a woman of words.
MIKE: Doesn’t matter to me one bit. I don’t think it matters to most guys, do you?
KIRK: I don’t either. I will say, I think that if you have, if a girl has straight hair, I think that she’s perceived as more intelligent.
MIKE: Really?
KIRK: Yeah, like. She’s more business-like I guess you could say if you had straight hair.
MIKE: You know what, I actually kind of agree with you, cuz you know what’s going through my mind right now?
KIRK: What?
MIKE: The little time that I’ve spent in Washington DC? When you run around at happy hour, and all these people come running out of Congress, and all of these aides come running out and hit the bar scene, and they all got this straight hair and bobs, and there’s not…I don’t remember seeing any curly hair in there.
KIRK: Well.
MIKE: It’s a more conservative look.
KIRK: Yeah, but I think guys don’t care if the hair’s curly or straight in general. I mean, there’s so many girls that look so great with curly hair.
MIKE: Absolutely.
KIRK: There’s so many girls that look so great with straight hair.
MIKE: I’ll tell you what. Jenny has naturally curly hair, and she always straightens it. But when she gets out of the shower or when she comes swimming, it’s amazing to me how curly it is. And it actually looks great, and she does it curly sometimes, and I dig it.
KIRK: Yeah. And you like it either way or you like it…?
MIKE: I like it either way.
KIRK: Yeah.
MIKE: And you know what, I’m kind of surprised by that because I actually thought I would like straighter hair more, but I like it either way.
KIRK: Like how does she straighten it? Does she use a blow-dryer and comb it?
MIKE: Kirk, I don’t watch that.
KIRK: I mean, how do you physically straighten hair?
MIKE: I have no idea.
KIRK: No?
MIKE: I don’t ask.
KIRK: Does she just go away and comes out and it’s all straight?
MIKE: Yeah, about 45 minutes later, it’s straight.
KIRK: I think she has to like blow dry it or something.
MIKE: I’m sure she’s got like a, yeah, a blow dryer and a flat iron maybe.
KIRK: We’re such guys. Sorry, but we can’t figure it out.
MIKE: Maybe she irons her head. I don’t know.
KIRK: So is she self-conscious about the curly hair? Is that why she straightens it?
MIKE: No. She just likes the look of it. She prefers it straight to curly, but there’s times where she, you know, goes curly when she’s in the mood.
KIRK: Well, I’ll tell you this. When I looked at Chantel’s blog there, and she has two pictures of herself. She has her kids too and all that. She has one picture with her with curly hair and one picture with her with straight hair.
MIKE: Interesting.
KIRK: Yeah, and I will honestly tell you that the straight hair picture is more appealing. Now that’s…I don’t know if it’s always going to be on the blog when this Podcast is running, but as of right now, it’s on there. And the straight hair one, I just think she looks sweeter.
MIKE: Interesting.
KIRK: I don’t know if it’s the pose or the actual hair.
MIKE: Yeah, no, I’ll check it out.
KIRK: So, Mike, here’s another question from Chantel. “How do you really feel about women with kids?”
MIKE: In terms of dating them or talking to them.
KIRK: Yeah, you go to a bar, you see a girl, and things are going great, and then she says, “I got to get back and get rid of the babysitter.”
MIKE: If I really liked her, I’d go out with her.
KIRK: You would?
MIKE: Yeah, yeah.
KIRK: Well how long would you go out with her?
MIKE: I don’t know. As long as I liked her.
KIRK: Well, I mean, would you date a girl and keep dating her? Like a year? Well you don’t really date a girl a year.
MIKE: No, I really…it’s been a while since I have dated somebody for a year.
KIRK: Right?
MIKE: You know, I’d keep it going as long as it’s going.
KIRK: Yeah.
MIKE: Yeah, well I would say, an issue of meeting somebody. If it’s going to work, it’s going to work.
KIRK: Right.
MIKE: As far as a single guy meeting a woman with a kid, you know, the kid comes first before your dating situation.
KIRK: Right.
MIKE: Which I completely understand.
KIRK: Totally.
MIKE: But you know, every situation is different, so if, you know, if you’re splitting half the time with the other parent and, you know, your free nights are going out on dates with me, then, you know, that’s cool.
KIRK: Yeah, okay. Good, that’s an awesome question.
MIKE: Chantel, those were great, great questions.
KIRK: That was fun.
MIKE: Absolutely. That was a lot of, this was the Chantel Show tonight.
KIRK: Yeah.
MIKE: It was a lot of fun.
KIRK: Yo, well, we got to wrap it up. Thank you so much for coming everyone. Listening to us.
MIKE: Absolutely, thank you again.
KIRK: By the way, if you want to help us get out there so we can keep doing this, just, if you can put us in your blogs like Chantel did, that would be great. That would be so great, and we’ll try to keep the show going for as long as we can.
MIKE: Yeah, and you know what? If you could also just go on iTunes and tell all your friends to subscribe to our Podcast, that would help us greatly too.
KIRK: Yeah, and thanks for coming, Mike. I’ll see you next time.
MIKE: Sounds great, Kirk. Take care, bud.
KIRK: Yeah, thanks everyone. Bye-bye.
MIKE: Bye.
KIRK: Thanks, Kelly. Kelly’s still typing.
MIKE: (laughs)
KIRK: Poor Kelly.