A FLY ON THE WALL: What Men Really Say About Women

Episode 010 - Transcript

Episode 010 - Transcript
Copyright TAHC, LLC - All Rights Reserved.
Thanks to Kelly G. for this transcript!
This episode was mixed by Greg from Lucid Drive Studios.
Technical services provided by www.betasptodvd.com

EPISODE TEN

September 8, 2007

–INTRO TO SHOW–

Welcome to another episode of A FLY ON THE WALL…
Guy #1: I love girls who are just like, you know, strong and take charge kind of ladies.
Guy #2: You know, somebody who’s uh, you know, loves you, cares about you, wants you, but doesn’t need you to, uh you know, make her feel okay about herself.
Guy #3: No drama, I don’t do drama.
Guy #4: You know, what fascinates me is Goth girls. They’re so devoted.
Guy #5: All day woman. Smart, good looking, nice body. Good cook. Good hair. Great mom, good fun to be with.
Guy #6: Definitely someone who can put up with my bullshit.
Guy #7: You know, I need a really sweet girl, but she’s got, her body’s gotta rock.
Guy #8: A very exotic look. Part Italian, a little Armenian, a little bit of French, and a little bit of that, a little bit of everything, so kind of that olive skin, beautiful eyes.
Guy #9: I like sweatpants, and uh, t-shirts, and uh, clogs.
Guy #10: Yeah, I’m an ass man, all day long, all day long. Hahahahaha. Ha.

–SEGMENT 1–

KIRK: Welcome to A FLY IN THE WALL.
MIKE: What men really say about women.
KIRK: I’m Kirk.
MIKE: And I’m Mike.
KIRK: And we’re really glad you joined us, and you can reach us at whatmenreallysayaboutwomen.com. And before we get going, Mike, I just wanted to do a little plug for this musician I’m just wild about now.
MIKE: Okay.
KIRK: Yeah, I saw her at a party in Hollywood a long time ago with my wife Pamela. And her last couple of CDs are just insane. I downloaded them, and this girl’s amazing. Her name’s Eleni Mandell, it’s E-L-E-N-I Mandell. And her stuff’s amazing. If you want to hear a great record, you can download her record called “Afternoon.” It’s just…every song on there is dynamite. You’re gonna love it. Well you’re not gonna like it, but I’m just so wowed by it.
MIKE: Why are you saying I won’t like it?
KIRK: I don’t think it’ll be your cup of tea. Anyway, she just sings these great songs about relationships and guys, and she’s just got this really cool, kind of dark Melrose-y sort of energy. But I think she’s really talented, and you should give it a listen. Nine bucks, you can download a great…
MIKE: That sounds pretty good Kirk.
KIRK: Yeah. There you go. Mike, so last week, we got together, we talked about flaws in women.
MIKE: Yes.
KIRK: You know, like what turned us on about them and what’s a dealbreaker. And I was really surprised at some of yours, Mike. Whew. Especially the ear thing.
MIKE: I don’t know, it doesn’t sound like you’ve moved on from that, Kirk.
KIRK: It was just, I kept thinking about it going, “God, is Mike like this perfectionist?”
MIKE: No, I’m not that bad.
KIRK: But it was trippy, Mike. But on the same subject, I thought it would be really fun to talk about fashion and do a little fashion show here.
MIKE: Oh really?
KIRK: And talk about the same thing. Our pet peeves about fashion or what stuff really gets us, bugs us. Or like you know, I thought we could do like a head to toe fashion show. What do you think about that?
MIKE: Yeah, I like that.
KIRK: You do like that?
MIKE: Well let’s just start.
KIRK: Let’s just jump into it. Let’s start at the head. Do you like girls in hats?
MIKE: Yes.
KIRK: You do?
MIKE: Baseball caps.
KIRK: Baseball caps?
MIKE: Yes.
KIRK: Wow.
MIKE: Pulled back.
KIRK: Ponytail?
MIKE: Yeah.
KIRK: You like a ponytail through the back of the baseball cap?
MIKE: Yes.
KIRK: Okay, I could see that.
MIKE: How about you?
KIRK: Yeah, I like that. It’s cute. It’s like a casual kind of cute girl.
MIKE: Yeah.
KIRK: You wouldn’t want to see that when you’re going out, you know how some girls at the Oscars or whatever, they wear those like designer caps with jewels all over them and stuff?
MIKE: Nah, I’m not really into that.
KIRK: So you just like the casual like cute girl look?
MIKE: Yeah, kicking back on a Saturday afternoon watching the game wearing…yeah.
KIRK: Okay, cool.
MIKE: Yeah, I also like cowboy hats. A lot on women.
KIKR: That’s interesting.
MIKE: You?
KIRK: I like it too.
MIKE: Yeah, all right! Two for two. Look at us.
KIRK: But you know what’s funny about that?
MIKE: What?
KIRK: Pamela hates cowboy hats so much, and I don’t, you know, I don’t like them in the sense that I would ever want, you know, to buy her a cowboy hat or anything. You know, she hates it, but I just like it. I don’t know what it is about that, cowboy hats.
MIKE: It’s just sexy as shit. I mean, I’ll tell you for an example. I’m friends with this girl that is not that attractive, but in a cowboy hat in the right lighting, she looks fucking smoking hot.
KIRK: Really?
MIKE: Yeah. It’s just, a cowboy hat on a woman is just hot.
KIRK: Really? Now is this something that you picked up going to Nashville recently or is this something you’ve always thought?
MIKE: No, this is something I’ve thought for a few years, yeah.
KIRK: Wow.
MIKE: And when I was in Dallas, it was reaffirmed. And when I was in Nashville, it was as well.
KIRK: Wow.
MIKE: Yeah. I really, baseball caps and cowboy hats, two of my favorites.
KIRK: Interesting.
MIKE: Now I’m going to go out on a limb, Kirk, and I know we’re doing this fashion show, but I’m going to go ahead and guess something.
KIRK: Okay.
MIKE: You love like a French or European bonnet kind of thing on a woman.
KIRK: That’s funny. Um, yeah, if it fits the outfit, I would like it.
MIKE: Of course.
KIRK: It doesn’t have the immediate zing that, for example, your baseball cap or your cowboy hat has, but yeah, with the right outfit, it just takes it to a new level. It takes the outfit to a new level.
MIKE: Do you like berets?
KIRK: I don’t really like berets that much.
MIKE: Okay, okay. How about bandannas?
KIRK: Don’t like them at all.
MIKE: Okay.
KIRK: You?
MIKE: Sometimes.
KIRK: Yeah?
MIKE: Depends on the mood I’m in.
KIRK: Like where, around their head?
MIKE: Yeah, not those babushka kind of things going on, but you know, just a thin bandanna tied around.
KIRK: The forehead?
MIKE: Yeah.
KIRK: No, I don’t dig it at all. That is definitely something I don’t dig.
MIKE: Okay.
KIRK: Well we talked about hair but what about jewelry and stuff?
MIKE: Okay.
KIRK: Like here’s an example. One thing that just turns me off so badly is like when you see a woman and she has like 27 different gold chains, and they’re thin little gold chains and they have all these charms on them or whatever. I just want to run.
MIKE: So basically, too much jewelry is a problem
KIRK: Ech. Can’t stand it.
MIKE: Yeah, I agree with you. I agree with you.
KIRK: Yeah, you think so?
MIKE: I don’t, yeah, something simple. I don’t mind a gold chain especially if it’s thin. I don’t really like a thick gold chain.
KIRK: What about, for example, earrings? Like how many earrings should they have? You know how some people have like seven earrings?
MIKE: You know what, that’s a good question. I think it depends on the girl because some chicks look great with like nine piercings to me. Others, one’s fine, you know what I mean?
KIRK: So it just depends on the person?
MIKE: It depends on person to person with that, and I don’t like big, long, hanging earrings.
KIRK: Big old loops?
MIKE: yeah, and just long, dangly earrings.
KIRK: Yeah, yeah.
MIKE: How about you?
KIRK: Nah, I can’t stand it. I like a little, you know it’s just like a little ball in there or whatever.
MIKE: Like a stud?
KIRK: It’s not like a big dangly thing in there or whatever.
MIKE: Like a gold circular stud?
KIRK: Or a pearl or whatever. I don’t know what they put in there, but something that’s just simple. That’s what I like.
MIKE: Right.
KIRK: And I like no earrings too.
MIKE: Yeah, me too.
KIRK: You do?
MIKE: Yeah, I like that too.
KIRK: She could just be plain?
MIKE: Yeah.
KIRK: Yeah.
MIKE: Now how about facial jewelry? Nose ring or eyebrow ring or lip pierced?
KIRK: Man, for me, it’s just bad news. I get too distracted. It’s just odd. I mean, we talked about this on another show, but it’s just the idea that there’s something foreign being on your face, and I can’t stop looking at it. You like that?
MIKE: You know, it goes with the girl with the nine ear piercings. I like a nose ring or an eyebrow ring or a lip piercing. That works for me.
KIRK: I would say overall that all this stuff can change depending on the woman that’s wearing it. I mean if they know how to wear it and it fits them and it fits their whole deal, then it’s cool, you know?
MIKE: Yeah, I agree with you on that 100%. Back to the neck. We both agree that we don’t like a lot of jewelry around the neck? What about a scarf?
KIRK: I think scarves are so sexy?
MIKE: Like the real long kind?
KIRK: No, like the kind that they tie right around their neck. It’s kind of like old school, maybe European, or kin of like old school retro.
MIKE: Yeah, that doesn’t do much for me.
KIRK: But when you said scarf, what were you thinking of?
MIKE: No, I was just throwing out scarf in general. I figured that kind of a scarf or also the long winter scarf.
KIRK: How would they wear the winter scarf? You mean just…?
MIKE: Well Jenny, the girl that I’m dating. Her and I have gone back and forth because she’ll wear a t-shirt out in the winter with like a decorative knit scarf.
KIRK: See, I think that’s cute. I think that’d be great.
MIKE: It is cute. And you know what, at first I really didn’t like it.
KIRK: Yeah?
MIKE: I thought it looked kinda dumb.
KIRK: Really?
MIKE: And then it grew on me, and it’s very cute.
KIRK: Really? Yeah, it’s kind of like a personality thing, and it’s fun.
MIKE: Right. But at first I was like “enh,” but that look has grown on me. So.
KIRK: Interesting.
MIKE: Yeah, I don’t think I was much of a scarf person, but now that kind of changed my way, so.
KIRK: Wow. See Mike, you’re growing!
MIKE: It’s ridiculous.
KIRK: That’s wild.
MIKE: So now, I guess we’re onto shirts?
KIRK: What do you think about, do you have to have low cut?
MIKE: I love low cut. Less is more on the right body, always.
KIRK: Is there ever a point where you feel like they’re working it too hard or they’re just trying too hard if it’s really low cut?
MIKE: Actually I don’t. I think some women are. Maybe it’s more of a woman to woman thing.
KIRK: Maybe so. But I saw this TV show. It was this reality TV show the other day. And they have this girl on there, and she’s kind of a bimbo, and she’s up there in these really really low-cut dresses, and it just feels out of place and awkward. It feels awkward.
MIKE: Awkward. But does it bother you? Like are you like, “Wow this is really distracting me to the point that I’m bothered”?
KIRK: No.
MIKE: Or is it, “That’s kind of weird.”
KIRK: Yeah. It’s just kinda like, uh, what are you doing? For example, what if she came out in a bra? Just a bra? Like what would you think then? Would you be like, “Yeah, baby”?
MIKE: You know what, that’s awkward to me.
KIRK: Why? Why is that awkward?
MIKE: Cuz a bra just, there’s just too much stomach showing underneath it.
KIRK: So what about, do you like a girl with a sleeveless dress or none?
MIKE: The bigger question is, do I like dresses? Um, if the occasion calls for it, a nice elegant evening or whatever, dresses, fabulous. I’m kind of open to any kind of dress. I like dresses that don’t have any sleeve at all and just come up to the bust and looks fantastic. I like that look actually. Sometimes I’ve seen that look with gloves, that looks phenomenal to me.
KIRK: That’s cool. I mean, I like that, but you know what just flips me out so bad is when the dress is asymmetrical. I just have this thing about asymmetrical dresses. You know when it goes across like this on the shoulder?
MIKE: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
KIRK: I just feel like it’s Tarzan. I don’t know. It just seems so unbalanced. It just like bothers me. It’s like a Tarzan thing.
MIKE: I know that look, yeah.
KIRK: Oh my God, man. For me, dresses and skirts are just awesome. I mean, I would rather see that than pants any day.
MIKE: More than jeans?
KIRK: Way, way, way more.
MIKE: See, I’d rather see a pair of jeans on a nice ass any given day of the week.
KIRK: Are you serious? I’d rather see a straight skirt with a silk top tucked in or something.
MIKE: Ugh, God. You put a smoking hot ass in a pair of Seven jeans, and I’m in heaven.
KIRK: Are you serious?
MIKE: That is like watching desert walking by me.
KIRK: Oh my God. I would go for a really straight tight skirt that goes right to the middle of the thigh.
MIKE: What kind of dress, like corduroy?
KIRK: No way. Why are you fixated on jeans? Dude, no, just like a really nice, rayon. I don’t know what the hell fabric it is.
MIKE: Rayon?
KIRK: Yeah.
MIKE: Do you like a business look?
KIRK: I love the business look. Oh my God. Like what’s great is a business suit that’s like a skirt instead of pants. Like I can’t stand pants, I think that’s lame.
MIKE: Like fuck the old secretary over the office table?
KIRK: But when you see that, man, it’s a great look, don’t you think?
MIKE: Yeah, I think on the right girl, it is as great look.
KIRK: It’s really classy.
MIKE: I agree, but I’ll tell you what though, dude. I’ll take a pair of kickass jeans and an awesome tank top, no bra underneath, any day of the week over that look.
KIRK: Wow, that’s so funny.
MIKE: Any day of the week.
KIRK: I think you’re normal though. I think like I’m the guy that’s different. But I don’t know, the jean thing, it just never worked for me at all.
MIKE: How about cutoff shorts?
KIRK: Um, Daisy Dukes?
MIKE: Yes. Where have those been, man, bring them back.
KIRK: Yeah, Daisy Dukes, I mean I definitely like them.
MIKE: Hm. What’s the sexiest outfit you could see on a woman?
KIRK: That’s a really good question.
MIKE: Yes it is.
KIRK: I mean, I’d say the business suit is pretty up there. Like a really really fitted business suit.
MIKE: Hair up?
KIRK: Hair up is nice. I really like that. What about you? Just the sexy jeans?
MIKE: Wait, hold on, we’re still on you. What kind of shoes?
KIRK: Like really high heeled boots that go up to the knee. And then like a business suit.
MIKE: What, like black leather boots or something?
KIRK: Yeah.
MIKE: Yeah, I like boots. I love those.
KIRK: You do? You do? Are you serious?
MIKE: Fuck yeah.
KIRK: To me, boots, they’re sexy with any outfit. You can wear them with a skirt, you can wear them with pants, or anything. And they’re just sexy.
MIKE: Right.
KIRK: Tucked jeans into them? There, I like your jeans like that. If the girl has her jeans tucked into some really nice high boots.
MIKE: Love that look, love it.
KIRK: You do, Mike? Good to hear!
MIKE: Love it, love it. We’re on the same page, minus the business suit.
KIRK: Good to hear that.
MIKE: Yeah. I like that. Jeans tucked into boots and…
KIRK: Do you like flat boots or high heels?
MIKE: High heels.
KIRK: Good for you! Mike, you’re coming to the fashion side.
MIKE: But, like, an old faded t-shirt that’s skin tight on a sick body is fabulous. Tank top again with the cowboy hat is fabulous. Digging that look.
KIRK: Wow. I don’t know. I guess I’m more classic or whatever. I just love like skirts. I love girls in skirts. And put those in boots, and that’s like the ultimate outfit for me.
MIKE: When you’re flipping through magazines and stuff, do you like chicks that dress in like Playboy bunny outfits and stuff like that or…?
KIRK: Like costume-y stuff?
MIKE: Yes. Costume-y outfits.
KIRK: I don’t dig costume-y stuff at all, but what I really do love is just when it’s genuine, like if it’s a real sexy librarian.
MIKE: Right, I like that too.
KIRK: But I gotta do an aside here, I got this funny librarian story. I went into the library, and this girl’s there, and she’s the librarian, right? She’s real young. She’s probably like, I don’t know, under 22 or something. And so I’m looking at her, and she has one of those tops on, and I don’t know what they’re called. It kind of goes tightly underneath her breast and then it hangs down. You know what I mean?
MIKE: It looks like she might be pregnant, you don’t know.
KIRK: So that’s what, dude, and she had like a big belly, and I was like, “Oh, wow, when are you due?” and she’s like…
MIKE: No, you didn’t!
KIRK: I swear to God, she looked so pregnant. Like she really looked pregnant, and she’s like, “I’m not due. I will never wear this shirt again.”
MIKE: Oh my God.
KIRK: She felt so bad, and I go, “Ah man, you gotta forgive me. That’s just, that was just retarded. I’m just a guy, you know. I don’t.” The shirt threw me, that’s what I said, you know?
MIKE: I would have said I was talking to the book, you know, “When are you due?”
KIRK: Oh my God.
MIKE: Kirk, let me just tell you. I hate those shirts, and you should also now, especailly after that story. I mean, those are the most, they’re basically built for women that have an alright boob, alright boob size and a little bit of a gut cuz they really hide that.
KIRK: I don’t think they hide the gut, I think they make it look like, they accentuate the gut, no?
MIKE: No, because I’ve seen it on girls that have a little bit of a gut. I’ve seen them in different outfits. They got a little bit of a gut and it kind of hides some of that. But girls that have nice bodies that wear it, it sucks. I mean, I’ve seen it on nice bodies too, and it’s a horrible, horrible look.
KIRK: God, I felt so bad man.
MIKE: I saw that one coming. I can’t believe, ech!
KIRK: I know, but hey, we gotta take a break, but we’ll come right back and do the rest of the fashion show.
MIKE: Alright, sounds good.
KIRK: Just hang on everyone, and we’ll be right back, and you’ll learn more about this nonsense.

–COMMERCIAL–

Woman: Hi, I’m Cathy Malkasian, I’m the author of Percy Gloom, which is a graphic novel. And a graphic novel is by definition, I think, a comic that’s over a hundred pages. It’s really a neat medium. The great part about doing comics is that when words fail you, you got pictures, and vice versa. They really complement each other. It’s very free. It’s been really surprising. Pretty good feedback overall. Most of it has been from really respectable sources. This is going to sound really, really presumptuous but I got so disgusted with world affairs. Because, you know, what’s going on in the world right now is so ridiculous. People are just wiggin’ out. So I had to sort of make a satire of human folly, and humor is definitely subjective. But let’s just say, it’s an adult book, but if you left it on the coffee table and your 4-year-old picked it up, there isn’t anything in there that you’d have to, you know, worry about. My website is www.percygloom.com.

–SEGMENT 2–

MIKE: Hey welcome back to A FLY IN THE WALL.
KIRK: I’m Kirk.
MIKE: And I’m Mike.
KIRK: And we’re glad you stuck around for the big fashion show.
MIKE: Yes, absolutely, and speaking of that fashion show.
KIRK: We’re learning a lot, we’re learning a lot here. Go ahead, Mike.
MIKE: Yes, we are learning. Never ask a pregnant woman that’s not pregnant if she’s pregnant.
KIRK: Ugh, oh my God, that was the only time. But I was so sure she was pregnant. I mean, I never, I’ve been tempted several times, but this one, I was so positive she was pregnant. And she was totally not. I mean.
MIKE: Clothes are very misleading on that kind of thing.
KIRK: Yeah.
MIKE: But I want to ask you, this is something that drives me a little batty and I don’t wanna see. Pregnant women in bikinis.
KIRK: I gotta agree with you, Mike. I mean, I know it’s the body and it’s beautiful and everything like that, right?
MIKE: Yeah.
KIRK: But you know what, I just think it’s not the most attractive.
MIKE: No, neither is a half shirt on a pregnant woman either.
KIRK: No, I don’t think so, but then again, like, the worst thing in the world. One of my biggest pet peeves is a half shirt on someone with a beer gut. Dude, that is like the grossest. You see that a lot, like the County Fair or whatever, man? That is just retarded.
MIKE: That’s true, right. No, I agree, it works both ways. No, but on this show, we’re talking about women.
KIRK: No, no. I’m talking about women.
MIKE: Oh. I’ve seen that too.
KIRK: You know with the half shirt?
MIKE: Yes I know it.
KIRK: And they got a big gut coming out? That’s just so bad.
MIKE: Ech, God, no, I agree with you. And for some reason, somehow they feel that’s accepted.
KIRK: Well no, they’re like flaunting it. They’re like, “That’s me, and I’m all me. And just love me or not.” You know? And they’re just like going for it, and I’m like, “Yo, have a little dignity.” I mean, I don’t know. But back to your sleeveless dress thing with the gloves.
MIKE: Yeah.
KIRK: I had a thought about that. Like gloves to me, they really really work, but only if they’re leather. Like if they’re like satin like going to a high school prom, you know that shiny like satin fake glove?
MIKE: Yeah.
KIRK: It just seems like bogus. And it doesn’t work at all.
MIKE: You know what’s funny is that that doesn’t bother me.
KIRK: Really?
MIKE: Yeah doesn’t bother me.
KIRK: I love gloves. I love women in long black leather gloves, like opera length where you know it goes up to the shoulder?
MIKE: I kind of dig that too.
KIRK: And it’s kind of classy, and kind of, it’s a European thing, sort of.
MIKE: Do you like fishnet stockings or pantyhose of any type?
KIRK: Excellent question.
MIKE: Thank you.
KIRK: I changed on that. I used to like it. Like when I was in my 20s, I used to dig that, like the whole fishnet thing. And now I can’t stand it, cannot stand it.
MIKE: What’s that all about?
KIRK: I don’t know, maybe I became too much of a cliché or something? I don’t know why it changed for me, but now what I really is just a bare leg. And if they’re cold. If it’s cold, like you’re from Chicago, then it’d be great to see, oh of course, your Seven jeans. But what I would like to see is if it’s really cold, I’d like to see tights, like colored tights. I can’t stand to see skin tones like pantyhose or nylons that are like skin tone. Pantyhose are cool if they’re like white or if they’re like mustard color or something that’s not like clear, but when it’s that fake skin color, that’s a big turn off for me.
MIKE: When you’re saying colored tights, are you saying color like blue or yellow?
KIRK: That’s cool. I would take blue or yellow.
MIKE: Really?
KIRK: Or I would take dark, like if they’re black or you know, dark green or something. But just because, I don’t know, the skin tone, the pantyhose, the kind that the bad guys in the movies wear over their face.
MIKE: Right, right, right.
KIRK: Those things just, they gross me out man. And then you see those toes, like if they have open toe shoes and you see that color all bunched up, whereas if it was a real solid color, it wouldn’t matter to me. Do you know what I mean?
MIKE: I do.
KIRK: So just tights would be good, like if it’s cold. Or the best thing would be thigh-high boots. That would be the bomb for me.
MIKE: That’s your favorite isn’t it?
KIRK: Oh my God, especially if they’re really expensive ones and don’t have too pointed of a toe. You know, kind of more rounded?
MIKE: Right.
KIRK: But what about you with tights or pantyhose?
MIKE: Uh, black I like. The rest, not so much.
KIRK: Yeah?
MIKE: Yeah.
KIRK: Black what?
MIKE: Black tights…pantyhose.
KIRK: What about fishnet?
MIKE: It doesn’t do anything for me. Never did.
KIRK: It’s such a cliché huh?
MIKE: Yeah, kinda, yeah.
KIRK: It’s trashy.
MIKE: I don’t mind trashy. You know, every now and then, you know, I like my girl to dress up as a whore. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with that.
KIRK: That’s what I’m talking about.
MIKE: That’s what I’m talking about.
KIRK: Yeah, but you don’t like to talk dirty, man, and so I would, if she was dressed up like a whore, I would be talking so much smack. No? I’d be like talking so dirty to her if she’s a whore. “You filthy bitch!”
MIKE: Different show.
KIRK: It’s just funny that, you know, you want her to dress up like a whore, but you don’t want to play it out.
MIKE: I mean, I’ve had a whore. I didn’t talk dirty to her. So I don’t know what playing it out means.
KIRK: That’s good.
MIKE: You know?
KIRK: That’s funny. Are there things that bug you about fashion?
MIKE: Turtlenecks.
KIRK: Are you serious?
MIKE: I don’t care for turtlenecks.
KIRK: I love turtlenecks.
MIKE: Of course you do.
KIRK: Of course I do.
MIKE: You and I don’t always see eye to eye.
KIRK: But does it always, it bugs you or does it just not do anything for you?
MIKE: It doesn’t do anything for me. Skintight jeans on a body that they shouldn’t be skintight bothers me.
KIRK: Wait, skintight jeans on a body that they’re too tight? Like the girl’s heavy or…?
MIKE: You know for some reason, even skinny girls, it makes. It can take a nice ass and make it look bad, do you know what I’m talking about?
KIRK: Yeah, you know what’s a really bad fashion idea? Skin tight jeans and when you have like bow legs or if you have too much space between their legs and you wear skin tight jeans, it looks funky.
MIKE: I agree with you, big gap in their legs?
KIRK: Isn’t that weird?
MIKE: I agree with you, it looks terrible.
KIRK: It’s weird, they should like, it doesn’t work, they should just have looser jeans or wear a skirt or something, you know?
MIKE: Right, right. Is there anything that bothers you?
KIRK: Um.
MIKE: I’ll tell you what bothers me a little bit also are oversized college sweatshirts.
KIRK: Yo, I’m so…I totally agree with you.
MIKE: Thank you.
KIRK: You know what I love? I mean, this is a cliché. We were talking about the fishnet stockings, but I love the cliché of the women wearing the men’s dress shirt and like just panties. I just think that’s awesome.
MIKE: I dig that too.
KIRK: You know what I mean?
MIKE: I think that’s a hot, hot look.
KIRK: It’s kind of cliché but I dig it.
MIKE: I’ll tell you what. I like any girl that I’m dating wearing any shirt that I have.
KIRK: Oh yeah?
MIKE: Yeah.
KIRK: That’s cool. Like just wearing around the house or wearing out?
MIKE: No, wearing around the house.
KIRK: Okay, I want to tell you, I do have one thing that really really bugs me so much. I call it like elf shoes. Do you ever see girls with really really really pointy shoes?
MIKE: Hate those.
KIRK: Dude, I do too.
MIKE: Hate those. Nicely done Kirk.
KIRK: Oh.
MIKE: Hate those. I haven’t seen those in a couple years.
KIRK: Oh my God. I work in a big office.
MIKE: Are they still real hot?
KIRK: Oh my God. They’re just, I’d say about four out of five women wear high heels cuz it’s an office, and like honest to God, three out of five of them are insanely pointed. I call them elf shoes.
MIKE: Yeah, they’re horrible. I know exactly what you’re talking about.
KIRK: Oh my God.
MIKE: They’re ugly as sin. I agree.
KIRK: Yo, and it’s like, you can just measure. From the front of their toe, there’s probably like three inches of air, and it’s like almost like a clown shoe that’s pointed, you know what I mean?
MIKE: Right, right. It’s a horrible, horrible shoe.
KIRK: Gosh. Why do they do that? They could just like, I think they think it’s really feminine or whatever, but they could just have like a more fitted toe, like rounded or square or anything that’s not like this huge protruding sort of like weird artificial toe. And then what happens is when they walk, Mike, because they’re so long in front, they have to like actually open up their feet wider towards the outside so they walk with their feet out?
MIKE: Right.
KIRK: Yeah because you can’t walk straight because you can’t bend your foot like that with that big pointed thing on there?
MIKE: Right.
KIRK: And I just think it looks so odd.
MIKE: I agree.
KIRK: Wow, I’m glad we agree.
MIKE: Ugly shoes, I agree with you.
KIRK: And I mean, like, pointy is cool but like that clown shoe pointy or like the elf shoe pointy, that is just a big pet peeve I have.
MIKE: I agree.
KIRK: You know?
MIKE: Yeah.
KIRK: My God. Glad to hear that.
MIKE: No, no, no. Kirk, I’m 100% with you on those.
KIRK: Wow. Good.
MIKE: Those are bad.
KIRK: Do you like when girls wear shoes in bed?
MIKE: What, like you’re going to get down and get dirty with them?
KIRK: Yeah.
MIKE: I guess I never really thought about it. I don’t think many girls that I’ve been with wear shoes in bed.
KIRK: Really?
MIKE: Yeah, no. Why, do you like girls with shoes on?
KIRK: Yeah, man. It’s like they just drop their skirt and you go for it, and it’s like, I think it’s really sexy.
MIKE: That does sound hot. I don’t think I’ve had that though.
KIRK: Really?
MIKE: Yeah, I haven’t.
KIRK: Yeah, it’s like if they have great shoes, if they have the pointed elf shoes, no. But you’re getting going, and the skirt drops, and of course, your girls always have pants on. The jeans. Then I think it’s kind of like sexy to have shoes in bed.
MIKE: My girls don’t always have jeans on, Kirk. Sarongs are pretty hot that I like.
KIRK: Yeah?
MIKE: Yeah, and those are very easy access.
KIRK: So that’s just a one thing that wraps around right?
MIKE: Yeah, I like those.
KIRK: What do you think about girls that wear no underwear out?
MIKE: I love it. I prefer g-string over anything cuz I just like to have a little something to grab onto. I also find it very hot, like I’ve dated girls that wear no underwear, and I’ll like undo a button and there’s nothing there, and it’s just like whoo, hey, jump right in, which is fucking great.
KIRK: It’s like a surprise? Wahoo!
MIKE: Yeah I love it. And also like, when a girl’s wearing a miniskirt and no underwear, love that.
KIRK: Yeah, but you wouldn’t want to see it. You’d just want to discover it right?
MIKE: Well sometimes, no. Sometimes like if I’m out, I’d like to see…
KIRK: Like only you know about it?
MIKE: Yeah, yeah, exactly. She’ll put herself in a position so that I can see what’s going on under there, and I dig that. How about you?
KIRK: Um yeah, I think that depends. I think really sexy underwear is sexy, just like, I mean it’s lingerie. But if they’re going au naturale, I think that’s cool too. I don’t have a strong preference either way. Yeah, what do you think about total nudity, now that we did the whole fashion thing? I mean, like would you rather see a girl completely nude walking around or let’s say your house, or would you prefer her clothed?
MIKE: Yeah, I love walking around the house naked with my girlfriend.
KIRK: Both you guys?
MIKE: Yeah, especially her.
KIRK: Yeah?
MIKE: Yeah.
KIRK: Well Mike, this is our fashion show.
MIKE: Kirk, I loved it. Great topic.
KIRK: Yeah, we gotta wrap this sucker up and move on. Next week, we’re going to try a couple new things. We’re still going to get some women on the street, but we haven’t been out in a while. Been real busy.
MIKE: Right.
KIRK: With some questions. Maybe we’ll answer some emails next time. But it’s really fun to get together with you, Mike, and I learned a lot about you.
MIKE: You as well, Kirk. Always. Every time I see you, I learn more and more.
KIRK: That’s funny. Thanks for joining us everyone.
MIKE: Yes thank you.
KIRK: And we’ll talk to you next week.
MIKE: Take care!

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KIRK: Alright. Let’s give a big thanks to Kelly who’s doing our transcribing out there on the web and to Greg who’s doing this amazing audio mix for us. He’s in Berkeley. Kelly’s in Harvard, and that’s it. I gotta go boots shopping with Pamela. Ciao, Mike.